B”H
[EDIT: So, I realized after writing this blogpost that I dumped a
lot of Jewish tradition and slang into my writing in embracing my inner soul,
which is apparently a 95-year-old zayde (= grandpa in Yiddish). The
exact translations of Yiddish into English are difficult, but I tried my best
to include explanations as footnotes. Sometimes, English can’t quite express
the words I seek.]
So, life takes another turn…and I’m sadly late again with the weekly
blog post. To my readers, it’s been a crazy week in the bowels (pun slightly
intended) of the anatomy lab as I attempt to learn everything and anything in
the body from just below the neck to the big toe…literally. I finished my
laboratory practical final exam and just need to complete my didactic final to
wrap up anatomy. Crazy to think that this roller coaster is (hopefully) coming
to its final descent!
Anyway…enough anatomy…let’s talk Torah.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, that means that this week’s
post is ANOTHER DOUBLE SECTION TORAH STUDY!! (woohoo!!) Interestingly,
double parshas (portions of Torah) are interesting in that I challenge
myself to not only find meaning in the individual sections, but also in the
combined study of these two sections.
Last week’s portion was Parshat Vayishev (וישב/ literally: and he dwelt). After all
the meshugas1 of Jacob’s drama with his older brother, now he
has now gone and chosen his son Joseph as his favorite among his bajillion
kids. (Great…like that’s gonna end well…sometimes I wonder if Jacob is just an annoying
attention-hog to keep G-D busy…a nudnik2 this one!! While I’m
not a parent, I feel as if ‘Parenting 101’ would teach that one should love his
or her children equally—or at least hide favoritism). AND THE APPLE DOESN’T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE!! Joseph…you’ve got quite a mouth. Why oh why would you tell your
siblings that you had a dream that you’d rule over them? No wonder they don’t
want to talk to you! I wouldn't want to socialize with you either if you came
out of the middle of nowhere and espoused your crazy dreams in which you will
rule over me. You’d best be thankful that your older brother Reuben convinced
the others to not outright KILL you. Reuben convinces his brothers to instead
throw Joseph into a pit with no water or food. But it’s all cool…because Reuben
is going to sneak Joseph back home, right?
Well, not quite.
The brothers (with the exception of Reuben) discuss what to do with
their brother Joseph, and, upon Judah’s suggestion, they end up selling him as
a slave to Ishmaelites. Reuben, the schmo3, is clearly out of
loop as he returned to the pit to find it sans Joseph. So much for your
plan there, pal! Let’s casually cover it up by dipping his coat into blood and
tell Papa Jacob that his favorite son was mauled to death by wild beasts…’cause
that sounds like a perfect plan! Needless to say, Jacob is heartbroken by the
“news.” He refuses to be comforted by his family and explains his reason for
wanting to stay in misery in one of the most gut-wrenching, powerful lines of
Torah: (כי ארד אל בני אבל שאלה –roughly translated: because I will go down to my son’s grave
in mourning). The mere thought of the broken cycle of life, that a parent
should visit a child’s grave instead of the (sad, but inevitable) opposite,
makes my heart sink in my chest. Such fate I wish upon not even my most sworn
of enemies, but the children of Jacob clearly take no issue in covering up
their handiwork.
But I guess they get away with it (for now).
The parshah deviates from Joseph for a brief second to
discuss Judah, who marries and has three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. The
firstborn, Er, marries Tamar, but Er is killed by G-D. Thus, Judah urges Onan to
step up as Tamar’s new husband to bear Er’s children according to custom.4
Onan doesn't want to marry Tamar, as he wants his own kids, so he “spills his
seed” and G-D kills him too. Oops.
So with two sons down, Judah realizes that maybe this whole
marriage thing isn't such a good idea for his family line, and he instead
agrees to keep Tamar in his house to support her. Judah’s wife passes away, and
Tamar, determined to have a child from Judah’s lineage, disguises herself as a prostitute
and seduces Judah. When Judah finds out her identity (and oh yeah, did I mention she’s just
about to enter her second trimester), he is initially enraged and dubious that
she is truly Tamar, but he accepts his actions once she provides evidence in
the form of his belongings. She bears twins, Peretz and Zerach.
Back to Joseph again. (I can’t be the only one thinking “man, the
Torah really needs to pick a son and stick with him!”) Joseph is taken to the
house of the pharaoh’s chamberlain (Potiphar) and is blessed by G-D in his
actions. Potiphar recognizes Joseph’s favor from G-D and thus appoints Joseph
as the master of the house. His new status attracts the lust of Potiphar’s wife,
but Joseph outright refuses to lie with another man’s wife. Potiphar’s wife
turns the tables on Joseph by saying he came on to her, and Joseph is thrown in
jail. G-D helps out Joseph by giving him some power in the jail as a warden of
sorts.
In the final section of Vaiyeshev, Joseph interprets the dreams
of two inmates: the chief cupbearer and baker for the pharaoh. The cupbearer is
destined to be released in three days, and the baker will be hung in three
days. Joseph’s revelations come true, but the cupbearer forgets Joseph despite
Joseph’s request to ask that the pharaoh release Joseph from jail. Womp.
**CUE CHANUKAH5 MUSIC**
(Any song from the abundance of Jewish a capella will
suffice. The Maccabeats do it again this year with their Chanukah-themed cover
of “Burn” by Ellie Goulding. Diggin’ the bullies’ headgear…nice touch, Uri.
Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbec3WSPanw)
This week’s section, Parshat Miketz (מקץ – literally “at the end”), is read
during the Jewish holiday of Chanukah. The pharaoh has disturbing dreams no one
can interpret, and the cupbearer remembers Joseph’s predictions. Pharaoh
summons Joseph, who tells him that his dreams predict seven years of plenty
followed by seven years of famine. Impressed with Joseph’s skill and
provisionary oversight, Joseph is made governor of Egypt (not too shabby for
the boy who previously couldn't keep his mouth shut and got thrown in a pit for
his inability to zip it!) He marries Potiphar’s daughter, Asenath, and gives
birth to Manasseh and Ephraim. All seems well for this son of Jacob. The same
can’t be said for the rest of Jacob’s clan.
While Joseph encouraged Pharaoh to secure stores of grain for the
impending famine, the citizens of Egypt, including Jacob’s family, must
purchase grain from the pharaoh’s stock. All of the sons of Jacob, except
little Benjamin, travel to purchase grain from the pharaoh. Joseph recognizes
his brothers, but they don’t recognize him. He takes advantage of the situation
in accusing them of being spies (I get that they betrayed you, but talk about some chutzpah).6
The brothers try to convince the conniving Joseph, but he insists that they
bring Benjamin as proof that they are not lying. Joseph almost foils his own
plan by breaking down crying as Reuben (who finally decided to act with some
semblance of moral rectitude) chastises his brothers in saying that they should
not have harmed Joseph, but that they didn't listen. Indeed, they recognize the
errors of their treatment of Joseph (finally…only took several YEARS)! But,
Joseph regains his composure and holds Simeon hostage until Benjamin is
presented. Oh, and Joseph isn't a complete jerk, I guess, since he reimbursed
their travel expenses.
When the (now nine) brothers return home (keeping up with your fraternal
mathematics this week?), Jacob is understandably hesitant to relinquish Benjamin,
having “lost” Joseph and now without Simeon. He’s watching his children
disappear before his eyes! The brothers eventually convince their father to
allow Benjamin to travel with them with Judah assuming eternal responsibility
for his well-being. (Now ten) brothers return to Joseph, and he receives them
kindly. He provides them with food and money. But, the trickery of Joseph concludes
the section of Torah, as he plants a silver goblet in Benjamin’s sack. The next
day, the brothers are searched, and the goblet is “discovered.” Joseph agrees
to set the “thieves” free if Benjamin remains as his slave. Oy vey, what a cliffhanger!
Phew. That’s a lot of Torah. Now to break it down through character
analysis. Who shall my first victim be?
Reuben: If the other brothers wanted to
kill Joseph, why did Reuben only come up with a plan to stall? Is Reuben’s
moral compass so non-functional that his “backup plan” is to shove his brother
into a pit without food or water? (Because that sounds soooooo much more
appealing than death). That said, it can be argued that Reuben is the only
reason Joseph survives his angry brethren’s death wishes. So…was Reuben more
intelligent that meets the eye in playing politics to ultimately staying in
good graces with his evil brothers and save Joseph’s life? In previous years, I
gave Reuben a pass, but this year, I’m not buying it as much as I have in
previous readings upon closer examination. If truly his plan was to run and
save Joseph, it seems as if he would not have abandoned Joseph for so long that the
thought to profit from Joseph’s capture would have crossed the minds of the
other brothers. I know Reuben comes back to the surprise of a missing Joseph,
so he was not a part of the selling per se, but he knew what transpired.
HE participated in the cover up ceremony. HIS hands are just as bloodstained
(literally and figuratively) as his brothers’, perhaps even MORESO because he
did not tell his father Jacob what happened. His brothers obviously were not
going to rat themselves out, but Reuben, if truly innocent, would not have
participated in the cover-up and have told Jacob (...especially since the whole
argument started with Jacob playing favorites with his children). I’d think if
Reuben came clean, he’d be in the best of standing in the eyes of Jacob. Plus,
Reuben is the oldest, which socially gives him an additional edge-up on his
other brothers. Sorry, Reuben, but your inability to speak up when you knew
something was wrong and allowing your father to suffer makes me take no pity
for your situation. You had the power to rectify the situation and failed. Oh,
and telling your brothers you should not have harmed your brother all those years
after is a moot point. I’m not sure why it brought Joseph to tears. In fact,
I’d be furious to know that one of my brothers thought about my well-being but
chose to not follow moral rectitude versus the rampant out-of-control jealousy of the other brothers. I believe
Reuben serves as the Torah’s example of a personality type to avoid: a man of
perhaps good word but no action.
Judah: Parshat Miketz represents
another turning point for another son of Jacob. Judah, the ringleader in the
plot to destroy Joseph. Judah, a character almost fresh out of Glengarry Glen
Ross in his outward apathy for his brother Joseph’s condition (and looking
to profit from his suffering)! I thought you were the most heinous of the sons
of Jacob…until you took responsibility for Jacob's second favorite—Benjamin—who
was deemed too young to travel by his overprotective father. You took action in
accepting total responsibility for the fate of young Benjamin. In a way, you
are the foil to Reuben, a man of action but not good word. I was initially sold
that you had learned your lesson, but I think you are simply concerned about
getting food and weaving your way out of a nasty situation. (Although next week’s
parshah changes things around,) you have not proven yourself a valued member
of society just yet. The Torah teaches us, through Judah, that actions themselves are
not enough. The INTENTION behind the action serves as a critical element of its
meaning. Our intent must be pure for the action to reach its fullest
appreciation.
Jacob: Ok. I concede. I have to give you a partial pass for the
gut-wrenching discovery of the supposed “death” of your son. No one deserves to
bear such woes. But, I can’t help but feel as if, in some way, you brought this
pain upon yourself. No one should ever favor one child over another, as we are
all sons and daughters of G-D. Less spiritually, as I mentioned previously, I
think you broke a fundamental rule of parenting in playing favorites. I’m not
saying the punishment for your favoritism was justified, but do you lack such
insight to think that your gazillion other kids would be jealous of your overt
preference for Joseph? However, I am proud that, despite the supposed “loss” of
Joseph and the imprisonment of Simeon, you trusted Judah to take responsibility
for Benjamin. In a way, I think that this action symbolizes a
fantastically significant point in the cycle of suffering…the point at which we
decide to dust ourselves off and move on. Jacob’s resistance to consolation
upon news of Joseph’s “death” is now contrasted with the ability for him to trust
that the sons will look after one another. In such way, Jacob has finally
picked himself up and begun to accept his fate. G-D teaches us here to trust one another.
Despite our greatest fears, we must have faith that life will improve from a
miserable state.
Joseph: A tricky character, this one. Every
time I think I have analyzed him, Joseph throws a curve ball. He’s part idiot
(telling his brothers about his dominion over them), part victim (being thrown
into a pit and sold into slavery), part cunning (utilizing his dream-reading
skills to finagle his way into the royal court), and part abusive (making his
brothers jump through hoops for him). In a way, though, I think he’s the most
relatable character in these sections. We all have times in which we are
overtly too honest, wronged, clever, and rude. But Joseph continues to live
life to its fullest in making the best of his terrible predicaments. Should he
be chastised for his treatment of his brothers? Perhaps yeah…Joseph, that wasn't so nice. But, dude, I totally would have done the same thing…make them writhe a
bit to see if they learned their lesson. I mean, throwing you into a pit and
having you shipped off as a slave is certainly no trivial matter, so I totally get
your angst. Maybe you should have stopped the “practical joke” a bit earlier
though. To your brothers’ defense, they were in a life-and-death situation in a
famine. You have all the grain of the kingdom, but your brothers are desperate for
some sustenance. Help a brother out, why don’t you? I say all of this with some
element of reservation because I know that Joseph is struggling to maintain his
tough-man façade. He almost lost it when Reuben admits the brothers’
wrongdoing. Deep down, Joseph is a good man, and perhaps a person to Torah
encourages us to be like Joseph…realistic, trusting, honest, confident, cunning, prudent, empathetic,
and, yes, even a little mischievous.
In the spirit of “Thanksgivukah,” I want part of my dvar to
consider the holidays in relation to these holidays. Ignoring the recent
historical backlash against its celebration, from a cultural perspective, Thanksgiving
is a time for family and friends. We come together over a glorious feast, free
ourselves from work or other burdens, and enjoy the company of one another. The
holiday itself has almost lost its original historical place in favor of a more
holistic vantage of togetherness, peace, joy, (and amazing Black Friday sales).
Despite Chanukah as a well-known celebration of the Jewish people in non-Jewish
circles, perhaps it may come as a surprise that this holiday is not religious
exactly. Indeed, it’s more of a historical anniversary of sorts remembering the
Maccabean reclaiming of the Holy Temple and the miracle of the burning of oil for
eight nights instead of one night. Sure, there are religious and traditional
practices surrounding the holiday (e.g.: chanukiah lighting7,
prayers, the dreidel game, etc), but, the holiday in modern Judaism
recenters the familial unit around candlelighting, song, and festive
gift-giving. The interplay between these holidays is fascinating, and the
timing of the Jewish calendar has merged these two holidays together. For me,
there is something special in the joint celebration of these holidays, as it’s
a celebration of my dual identity as a Jew and an American over the common
thread of love for family and friends. It is in the spirit of “Thankgivukah”
that I have realized why Parshat Miketz is read on Chanukah. It is in
THIS section that Jacob trusts his family, that Judah takes responsibility for
his brothers, that Reuben declares their actions against Joseph shameful, and
that Joseph weeps in internal recognition of his brothers’ true remorse of their actions. Family and friends are the essential elements of these holidays,
and I pray that my readers perhaps embrace a little longer upon greeting each other and
smile and laugh a while longer during the Thanksgiving and/or Chanukah meals in
honor of the message of Parshat Miketz.
One more thought: Lately, my life has not been as enjoyable or happy as I
would wish. The burden of passing anatomy has killed my social life, and the
intensity of the first graded course (physiology) has further strained my
calendar. I feel like I'm drowning in work way too often. I love what I’m learning, but its relevance is only marginally appreciated
in the sea of memorization expected of medical students in such a short period
of time. It’s funny…I regard myself as a realist, able to comprehend the
delicate balance between what is attainable and what is fantasy, but in times
of stress, I tend to become a cynic. I focus on the negative and horrific “what
ifs.” When I turn cynical, luck is a fickle siren in her avoidance of my hopes. But, this week, I realize I took the messages learned from Reuben,
Judah, Jacob, and Joseph to heart. From Reuben, I didn't just say “I was going
to study anatomy,” but went to lab every weekend (if not twice or thrice) to
slowly and properly learn the intricacies of the body. From Judah, I stepped
back from my brute memorization to appreciate the necessity for budding
physicians to cram thousands of terms into their brain. The uniqueness of each cadaver
(and indeed, each patient I will have in the future) stems from the variety of
our individual anatomies…something I must appreciate to understand what is
normal variation and what is clinically significant. Jacob gave me the courage
to stop wallowing in the fear of failing anatomy and start the process of
moving on towards success. And Joseph, perhaps most important of all, reminded
me to remember my humanity. I deserve breaks from studying, time with friends,
and must accept my imperfect state as part of my humanity.
It took quite a number of intimate conversations with friends, but
this week, I let go of my stress and anxiety for anatomy lab in the knowledge
that I tried my absolute best to learn as much information as possible with the
goal of retention for my future clinical practice. I recognize my imperfections
and admit that it is OK to stumble. And you know what? I think it is because of
these realizations I succeed. I am thankful for the (continued) support of my friends and family this Thanksgivukah season.
חג חנוכה שמח (Happy Chanukah) and Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers this week. May G-D bless your tables with good cheer and warmth.
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Footnotes:
1Meshugas is a Yiddish word I guess meaning “craziness.” Here, the word is
used to evoke something like “troublesome crazy foolishness.” Meshugas
not a playful word, like perhaps the insane recollections a wild night out, but
instead carries almost a worrisome tone.
2A nudnik is a Yiddish term for a person who’s constantly an
annoying pest who jabbers on and on. This is the person who you wish you could
duct tape his or her mouth shut.
3A schmo is one of many Yiddish phrases for a stupid idiot.
It’s a variant of the word schmuck, but schmuck carries more
weight in its intensity. Both refer to stupid people, but a schmo isn’t
necessarily a jerk, but a schmuck is. “Schmo” is a nicer, softer
way to call someone stupid.
4By an ancient Jewish tradition termed yibbum or levirate
marriage, because Tamar is a childless widow, the second son, Onan, is expected
to marry her. Children from this marriage are legally not the brother-in-law’s/new
husband’s, but instead belong to the lineage of the deceased first husband. While
this tradition is perhaps most colloquially recognized in religious contexts
particularly in the Jewish faith, levirate marriage, or some semblance of such
marriage, is not unique to Judaism. It’s been historically recorded throughout
China, Mongolia, Sudan, South Sudan, India, Indonesia, and many other places.
However, this tradition is seeing its decline in light of growing age of women’s
rights, including in Judaism. Modern Judaism by and large favors the legal
loophole around the obligation of yibbum termed chalitzah
(literally: removal/extrication?) in which the widow and the
brother-in-law/husband-to-be publically express their unwillingness to marry
one another in a solemn prescribed skit of sorts. The widow removes a shoe from
the brother-in-law, throws it, spits in front of him, and expresses her
aversion to marriage to a set of judges. (Don’t worry … the brother-in-law does
get his shoe back). The judges of the ceremony pray that no more women may ever
endure the legal burden of yibbum or chalitzah. And just like
that, the couple can now marry who they desire! This ceremony is very solemn
despite its perhaps comedic impression.
5This footnote is a shout-out to Jews who love to debate the
spelling of the holiday as “Chanukah.” It’ll take the whole eight days to never
decide on “the” correct transliteration of the Hebrew word for the Festival of
Lights, but I’m just gonna say that the first letter is NOT “ה,” so starting it with “H” is wrong without an underline or dot to
signify its difference from the soft “H” sound. To those who choose to put a
double N or K in the transliteration, please point to the second “נ” or “כ” to justify its
unnecessary placement in the English transliteration. Oh wait. You can’t.
Because it’s spelled “חנוכה.” To
my non-Jewish readers, Jews STILL have this debate regularly. Every Chanukah.
6Chutzpah is a Yiddish word that has found its way into English vernacular,
but sadly in a very butchered to mean almost something positive, like courage
or “spunk/moxie” I suppose. Inarguably, the traditional coinage of the term chutzpah
frames it as a VERY bad thing to have. The closest English equivalent I can
conjure is “utter nerve and audacity,” but worse and more shocking. My dad
nicely explains chutzpah in the following scenario: a son possesses chutzpah
if he kills his parents and pleads clemency in a court of law as he is now an
orphan.
7Chanukiah is the more appropriate term for what is typically called a “menorah.”
A menorah is a candelabrum with seven branches. A chanukiah is a
type of menorah, but with nine branches. Most Jews still refer to the
candelabrum used for Chanukah as a menorah, but it is most accurately
typified as a chanukiah or menorat Chanukah.
